Throughout the time I’ve had this site up, I’ve tried my best to sprinkle in stories of my sons.
If you’re new to the site, I have a son named Jackson who is 17 and on the autism spectrum and Sebastian who is 7 (almost 8) who is not on the spectrum.
For as long as Sebastian has been in this world, he has adored his half-brother.
However, due to the disparity in age, it took a long time for Sebastian to understand what some of those differences meant between the two of them.
When they were younger, Sebastian had a hard time giving space to Jackson and he would often get confused or frustrated when Jackson wouldn’t play with him or engage in conversation.
However, as each boy has gotten older, some of these things are starting to change.
Recently, Jackson and Sebastian were together and Sebastian came up to me and said: Dada, I feel like Jackson finally gets me. He talks to me now!
The reality being, Sebastian might actually be starting to “get” Jackson. He understands they have differences and he has a better grasp of how to handle them.
Later that day, we went out to eat at a restaurant that offers the tableside video game consoles. Sebastian said to Jackson: Look how many points I got on this game!
Jackson looked over and said: Good job, son. Then he wrapped his arms around him and kissed him all over his cheek.
Sebastian couldn’t have been happier.
It’s credit to the sweetness of Sebastian that he always wants to be around his “big brother”.
And it’s one of those feelings you get as a parent when everything just sort of clicks together and you have these unplanned gifts, these little moments of joy.
As I’ve requested of my wife and family each year, the only thing I really want for Father’s Day is the picture of me holding my boys.
Each year, they get a little bit bigger, which means Dad has to get a little bit stronger.
The greatest gifts of fatherhood are knowing your children are healthy and happy.
If you can help make that happen, I’d say you’re doing a pretty damn good job.
Find those moments of joy and cherish them.
Happy (belated) Father’s Day to all of the Dads: the ones who do a great job at it, the ones who might have been able to do better, the ones constantly trying to improve, the ones we’ve had to say goodbye to, and to the stepdads out there who step into the role and make the most of it.
