If you know me, you know how much I love music.
You probably also know that I can be unfairly and unreasonably opinionated about music as well.
I remember sometime in the 80s, when I could go to the store and buy cassettes on my own, and start to build my own little collection of music. That transitioned into CDs, mp3s, vinyl and now, it’s just some odd combination of digital and vinyl on hand.
In my heart, rock and roll will always rule the roost: punk, classic rock, metal, Britpop, grunge, power pop, I love so much of it.
But I’ve also held a special place for rap as well.
When it started for me in the 80s, it was rap that was mostly clean lyrically and meant for breakdancing. There was also the rise of Run DMC, Beastie Boys and LL Cool J.
By time I hit middle school, rap was changing into more violent and vulgar lyrical content along with the stamping of: Explicit Lyrics/Parental Advisory on the cover. Most of what I started to listen to then was 2 Live Crew, N.W.A., and Too Short. I typically had to hide these cassettes from my parents because the vast majority of the songs would not have been met with their approval.
In 1990, we were transferred to Brasil with my father’s job and rap music, surprisingly, fell out of favor with me for a handful of years. The early 90s would see the rise and popularity of such artists as: Wu-Tang Clan, 2Pac, The Notorious B.I.G., Dr. Dre, Snoop Dogg and A Tribe Called Quest (among many others). Most of these, I have to admit, I did not appreciate during their most popular eras. I had given my life (and ears) back to rock music and it would take until the late 90s before I would come back around.
That turning point happened with Eminem, an artist who made his landmark because of the aforementioned Dr. Dre. I’d carry my fascination with Eminem into the next big signing of Dre, 50 Cent, in the early 2000s.
Over the next decade or so, I’d continue my ever expanding palette with different rap and rock artists and in 2012, I heard about the next rap superstar that would be coming up under Dr. Dre: Kendrick Lamar.
Before I go any further, I need to explain a little “problem” I have with music.
For as long as I can remember, if I hear a song and I can’t get into the voice of the person singing or rapping, the song/artist/band/album is a no-go for me. The voice is always the deal breaker.
And, being candid, I’ve backpedaled on artists before. I recall not liking Ian Curtis (Joy Division), Iggy Pop, Lou Reed, Dave Matthews, Jack White (The White Stripes) and probably many others.
And then, sometimes, it’s the amount of exposure, or the circumstance that gets me to turn back and hear someone in a different light, and then: I’m all in. Such was the case of all of those aforementioned artists.
That’s exactly how it came to be with Kendrick Lamar as well. I heard him for the first time in 2012, when his hit album “Good Kid, M.A.A.D. City” came out. I knew that Dre had brought him under as wing, and being someone who had followed Dre from all the way back in his time with N.W.A. in the 80s, I knew that if Dre liked him, I’d like him as well.
Except, I didn’t.
I didn’t like Kendrick’s voice, and, while I could appreciate that he was a talented rapper, it was no-go for me.
In 2015, Kendrick released an album called “To Pimp A Butterfly” and the critics were absolutely raving about it. It combined hip-hop, jazz, funk, r&b and blues and I figured I would give him another chance.
I could tell that it was a different kind of rap album than what I was accustomed to.
But I got a few tracks in and I just couldn’t finish it. His voice, again, was more than I could handle.
Over the next several years, Kendrick would have cameos on songs, release the Pulitzer prize winning album “Damn” and no matter what I heard, I just didn’t like his music.
Until 2022.
In that year, Kendrick released an album called “Mr. Morale and The Big Steppers.” For no particular reason, I listened to it.
And after about 3 songs in, I was floored.
Kendrick’s voice hadn’t changed. In fact, he was utilizing even more changes in the way he would rap his lyrics.
What did change, for me, was the content.
Kendrick was writing an album dealing with depression, mental health, childhood trauma, marital discourse, fatherhood, therapy, and much more.
And he did it within the context of an album that arguably has no “hit” songs on it.
It is, even to this day, a profoundly uncomfortable album to listen to.
Never mind the fact that the music and the production is beautiful.
The lyrics are uncomfortable to digest almost from beginning to end.
And, if I’m being honest, there is probably not a rock album that can compare to the subject matter.
At that point, what I heard made me go backwards and try to listen to the other albums with a fresh set of ears.
And when I did, then I became a fan.
I’d listen to Kendrick on and off over the next couple of years but “Mr. Morale” remained the album I would come back to.
That is, until his well-publicized feud with pop/rap superstar Drake happened this year.
Drake is an artist that I’ve admittedly never been crazy about. I’d find a couple of songs of his that I could get into but his unique combination of rapping/singing just didn’t resonate with me.
However, he has had a wildly successful career and is without question one of the most popular artists of this generation.
When the feud between Kendrick and Drake began in March of this year, I wasn’t quite sure what to think of it and by time it hit it’s boiling point in May, I got so thoroughly engrossed in the beef that I made little time for any other type of music. It was the most excited I’d been to be engaged in rap music in years.
While the rap genre has historically had a colorful association with two artists who can lyrically spar with each other, this particular battle made national news.
And it led to me spending hours and hours digesting analyses of the lyrics, the impact that it was having on the genre, loads of conspiracy theories and countless replays of the diss tracks themselves to understand what was happening.
I got so lost in all of it, that I kept going back through Kendrick’s albums and circulating through each one over and over again.
The beef itself appears to have ended but my fascination with Kendrick’s work has only been amplified.
While it’s never been uncommon for me to find a song or artist that I like and listen repeatedly to for days on end, usually after a couple of weeks I’ve worn myself out and I have to move on to something else.
That has not happened with Kendrick’s music.
Each album has a completely different feel and each one takes you on a very different journey. Every time I’ve felt the need to skip a song on an album (something I would do under any normal circumstance), I just get lost again in the actual feel of what that album represents. So, I continue in the sequence it was meant to be in.
This may seem rather silly to you. I know that I tend to geek out on music more than most people I know. That part I’m accustomed to. What’s been the strangest for me is not tiring out on what is genuinely a small catalog of music to pull from.
I can’t promise that if you like rap music that you’ll like what Kendrick has to offer. Maybe you will, maybe you won’t.
I can’t promise that if you’re not a rap fan, that listening to Kendrick will make you change your mind. The problem is, if you like what he’s doing, you’ll be hard pressed to find others who can compare.
At some point, I know that I’ll need to start expanding my listening again. I’ve felt almost apologetic to the rest of my collection because I’ve basically ignored it over the last several months.
And if you want to understand the magnitude of not just Kendrick’s place in rap music but also what that Drake feud could mean to the genre, I’d encourage any music fan to check out this video on YouTube for further explanation. Yes, it’s 3.5 hours long. Yes, it’s totally worth watching. As of this writing, it’s been viewed 2.7 million times and it’s only been out for three weeks.
I don’t always take these kinds of detours on this blog but every so often I need to step out of the fitness/health/nutrition topics to expand on something else.
So, in many ways, Kendrick’s music has changed me because I can’t recall the last time I put so much of a time investment in any one artist. The fact is, I am not Kendrick’s target audience. I’m a white, middle class guy who grew up in the suburbs. I don’t have much connection to Kendrick’s life experience.
But I think, as any true artist should, they can inspire a multitude of people regardless of who they are and where they come from.
If this experience has “ruined” me, in any way, it’s because I’ve yet to find a way to stop listening.
My only hope for you is that you find an artist that you can thoroughly get engrossed in as well. I genuinely feel bad for folks who can’t say something along the lines of: “That album changed my life.”
Our tastes don’t have to be aligned but if you have that experience, then we’re more alike than otherwise.
