Many years ago, I saw a couple that I knew go through a particularly rough period.
At the time, my understanding of their circumstances was from the perspective of only one of those two people.
As a result, my opinion on the circumstances, how each person handled it and the way it affected them afterwards was somewhat incomplete and, to be honest, a bit harsh and unfair.
Recently, I gained some insight on the same situation from the other person’s point of view, and it reframed the entire chain of events in a completely different light.
I realized, with the benefit of hindsight, that I was not well informed to live so long with that one-sided opinion.
When the time is right, I’ll need to apologize to the appropriate parties for how I handled that event.
I understand that what I wrote is intentionally vague and I did that to protect the innocent.
But in thinking about it, it’s a broader problem which I think we all struggle with in some capacity.
You’ve likely heard many times before that you never know what kind of battle someone is fighting, and to be kind to everyone since that lack of knowledge could be detrimental.
I’m privileged to run a business which caters to upwards of a hundred people that I interact and engage with on a daily/weekly basis. That’s a hundred different personalities, dynamics, backstories and challenges that all have to be navigated differently so that each person feels heard, accepted, welcomed and respected.
I don’t always get it right.
I try to not only hear different sides of stories but to put myself in the shoes of others, to remind myself about my own challenges and misgivings, and to ask as many questions as I can to understand what it’s like to see the world through someone else’s eyes.
It helps when you hear people talk about politics.
It helps when you hear people talk about religion.
It helps when you hear people talk about their sexual/social preferences and lifestyles.
It helps when you hear people talk about their culture and upbringing.
It helps when you hear people talk about their trauma.
There’s a lot I’m still trying to learn. Not just about myself but the people around me.
The funny thing is, I had another post roughly 80% done that I was going to post today but this thought just kept bothering me.
So, at a time when it seems like people are digging in their heels and demanding to be heard: ask thoughtful questions and learn what you can about why people see the world the way they do.
I might be crazy for thinking it but respect and compassion come a lot easier when you try to view the world from more than just your perspective.
