Open Letter To The “Disappearing” Client

Dear Client,

I wanted to first thank you for the time you’ve been working with me. Every session we spend together, I love seeing how you make progress. Through every extra pound lifted, through every extra rep you push through, I know that you are moving forward in more ways you give yourself credit for.

You see, progress comes in many forms. Sometimes, it’s through a new exercise that your body hasn’t attempted before. Sometimes, it’s being able to lift an extra 5 pounds that you couldn’t last week or last month. Sometimes, it’s a faster pace when you’re on the treadmill that may have previously made you stop.

Progress is also about self-discovery. It’s learning which foods work for you and which ones don’t. I don’t mean allergies, I mean “these are the foods that I can eat sensibly without guilt” and “these foods I haven’t quite solved how to eat appropriately yet.”

Progress can also be about how much more confidence you may be gaining in other areas of life. Maybe you’re more proactive at work or you have more energy to get through your day. Progress might even be a more satisfying sex life (and who doesn’t like that?)

But there’s something I wanted to talk to you about.

I’ve noticed you’re a bit more quiet than usual. Sure, we still have small talk and conversation about work and family but there’s something missing.

Sometimes I’ll notice that you may stand off to the side here almost actively not engaging.

Sometimes I think that you may want to be alone with your thoughts.

Sometimes you look as though there’s something on your mind that you just don’t know how to bring up.

And this is the point where I worry the most about you.

What I’ve found is that this is when my clients (who go through these typical behaviors) tend to hide more of their reality. This is when the food plan gets out of control, the clothes get tighter and the scale goes up. Sometimes you know the scale is up and you refuse to step on it for validation of that truth.

It reminds me of the student who didn’t do their homework in class and doesn’t want to get called on to come present their work to the teacher. Sometimes I feel like you don’t want me to say anything to you about this.

And as your coach, it’s my job to help you through this. I care about you. I care about your goals. I also care about not being a nag. Maybe it’s not a good time to talk about it.

But if not now, when?

You hired me to help you with some of these difficult areas in your life. And while I’m no psychiatrist, I know that when you hit these points it is likely when you need the most help.

However, I don’t know if you don’t tell me.

I can’t help if you don’t open up. We are a team: I’m your coach, you’re my client and you being successful is immensely important to me. We are in this together but that means we play on the same team, playing from the same set of rules, winning the same games.

So, I wanted to write you this letter to let you know how important you are to me. Every time you decide to metaphorically “disappear” you are on my mind. I don’t forget about you just because you fall silent, it honestly makes me think about you more.

You see, for some people “no news is good news.” But for people like yourself, “no news” can mean: “I’m struggling, I’m suffering, I’m failing, and I don’t want to admit my failures to you.”

Just know, always know, that anything you bring to me comes without judgment. You can fail gracefully every time in my eyes. It’s those failures that help me understand your challenges and your obstacles better. It’s how we learn together to keep you from repeating previous mistakes and to not allow them to be as damaging as they have been before.

When you’re with me, we focus on progress. When you’re not with me, the hard work of continuing progress is back in your hands. I’m here to help you with that for as long as you choose for me to be your coach.

We will help you win.


Your Coach (a.k.a. Jason, Mike and Luke)

“We Make Great People Greater”