*The title of this post was taken from the John Lee Hooker song of the same name*
I love what I learn from my clients when they feel like they’ve failed at something.
Please don’t confuse that with: I love to see my clients fail.
What I do love (if the opportunity arises), is the wisdom that comes from clients when they’re searching for answers.
I would love to offer all the right solutions to my clients.
Many times, I get so excited to answer that I verbally vomit solutions all over myself.
However, what we’re taught by behavioral psychology is that it generally isn’t the solutions we (as wellness professionals) offer that do the most good. It’s the solutions a client can come up with on their own.
Sometimes, it takes a little bit of probing, nudging, and perhaps leading to get headed in the right direction.
This past weekend, one of our clients had a moment like this. One of those moments that I truly love.
She was out at a restaurant that isn’t exactly known for catering to the health conscious. She ordered a serving of soup (180 cals) and something that seemed appropriate on the 500 calories and less menu.
She also confessed that she had breadsticks.
I asked “How many?”
To which she replied: “I’m embarrassed to tell you…4”
Calories were added up and those 4 breadsticks had more calories than her entree.
Total up all of the calories and this individual (for her particular weight loss goals) was only 140 calories away from filling up her day. Her restaurant meal was the only meal she had consumed so far that day and she still had dinner to look forward to.
Rather than shame her for the decision, I simply helped her look at all of the numbers and put them into perspective.
To my client’s credit, she ate appropriately and within goal to stay in line for the rest of the day. Many people would have just let the day go to pot since one meal went wrong. By being candid with herself about how much she had consumed, she stayed the course and didn’t let one meal wreck her.
Most importantly, I applauded her for just being honest.
Her response: “Part of my healing is to not deny/hide what I eat.”
THIS is what I love.
To me, I don’t care how you get honest with yourself. I just care that it happens.
You can write it down in a journal, share it with a friend, log it into a food app…anything.
Just get painfully, candidly honest and put all of the gory details out there.
And with us, there’s no shame, there’s no guilt. We just hash it all out and move forward.
And to our anonymous client: your “healing” is going to go a long way. I know how far you’ve come just to get here and I couldn’t be more proud of the new you that you’re discovering.