How Your Past Defines You

(The following article contains triggering subject matter)

If you’re new to this page, some of what you’ll read may be new to you.

If you’re a long time reader (thank you), some of these stories you’ll know bits and pieces of.

My past tells a story.

I had great parents, generally a very good upbringing, a good education, clothes on my back, food on the table and friends to play with wherever we lived.

I was also sexually abused, in and out of hospitals for attempted/threatened suicide and addicted to drugs. When I could no longer afford my drug habit, I resorted to dealing them to keep a supply on hand.

I’ve shared greater details about those parts of my life elsewhere on this site but today, I’ll just glance over them.

Those things happened.

I can’t change them.

They will forever be a part of me.

Through therapy, literally years (on and off) of therapy, I had to process those parts of my past. As the adage goes: Hurt people hurt people.

And that’s how it played out in my life too.

Until I learned to heal, I hurt a lot of people along the way.

Somewhere on that path, sometime after getting clean (which happened in 2006), I knew I wanted to help others. That path become one paved with fitness and nutrition.

So, when I started RevFit in 2009, that was my canvas wiped clean (at least for a time).

I still had more healing to do, more therapy to do, more WORK to do.

My past, despite my best efforts, was still in control.

It took the work of a great therapist, more trauma in my own life, and a very patient family to help me through it.

And I DID get through it.

Your past can teach you a lot.

It can inform the great things you do for yourself and others.

It can also be the crutch, the anchor, and the reason you can’t seem to move forward.

It would be easy to just lay down and play victim.

Poor me.

But it isn’t poor me. I am a survivor and I didn’t succeed by myself.

I had support.

In the first module of my 8-week online group coaching program, Fat Loss Simplified, we talk about “mindset”. I share some of my past in that module. I share it because I’ve found that many of the people who come to work with me have a past they struggle to escape.

They let the wrong parts define them.

Once upon a time, I turned to drugs to cope with life.

Many of the people who work with me turn to food to cope with life.

The greatest distinction is that we don’t need drugs to survive (at least not the kind I was using) but we do need food.

So, when I crafted this program, it was to take a slightly different look at why something as deceivingly simple as “eat less, move more” can become such a terribly difficult thing to adhere to.

And I come right out of the gates not talking about calories, but talking about what’s happening between our ears.

It’s a module filled with a lot of questions because the hope is that the members who’ve enrolled will start doing some better digging.

Rather than asking: Which diet should I try next? members will be able to step back and acknowledge: So, that’s why that tool didn’t work for me.

And much of it comes from looking into the past.

It’s not easy work. It’s necessary work.

And it’s necessary whether someone joins to lose a stubborn five pounds or one hundred and five pounds.

Hopefully, your past isn’t as checkered as mine. But if it is, you won’t be judged, you’ll be embraced,

While the details of each person’s story remain private and confidential, everyone who’s participated in this group has a different story and we honor that story.

If you’d like to join, feel free to comment on this article or email me at: [email protected]

Promotional pricing ends March 31 and the group begins officially the first week of April. That promotional rate is $139/month for two months.

I look forward to seeing you there.

(Photo courtesy of Hadija)