The A$$hole Problem

So many things get in the way of progress. Crazy work schedule, unreasonable demands on our time, conference calls that last longer than they ever should to accomplish less than you ever anticipated, etc. Time and again, I have found the biggest obstacle on our path to progress is ourselves. The self deprecation, badmouthing, sabotage and self-shaming is unfathomable. One of the best analogies I’ve heard is: Would you let someone talk to your child like that? Would you let someone treat your parent that way?

People on a journey of weight loss have the unenviable position of being both the abuser and the abused. You do the damage to yourself (emotionally and physically) and you fall victim to every punishable deed. When did you become such an asshole to yourself?


I don’t like to play the blame game. Yes, bad things happen to good people. Yes, incidents in our childhood can affect us well into adulthood. I have been there, I  do understand.

I also understand that if you’re reading this, you are a grown adult. You have big boy/big girl responsibilities. You can handle being held accountable. You carry the world on your shoulders. Life gets unbearable and quickly spirals out of control when all you really crave is control.

But I’d like you to consider a perspective. Maybe the problem isn’t the diet that you’re on. Maybe the diet is okay and if you work it consistently, you will see results. Maybe the problem isn’t the exercise program that you’re trying (or still deciding to try.) Maybe the program is completely adequate and you just need to show up and get the time in.

Maybe the problem is just you. You treat yourself like garbage and you hold yourself to standards that no one can live up to. This doesn’t mean you’re broken. You’re not. I promise. And you’re not a failure. You’re great.

No one ever got to the place they wanted to be by being an asshole to the only person who can control the change. Ourselves. Not our spouses, not our children, our bosses, our colleagues. Just you.

So, give yourself permission to fail. Permission to be less than perfect and permission to live a life that allows mistakes, detours, and a cookie.

Look yourself in the mirror and say (out loud) “I’m done being an asshole.”

You deserve better. You’ve “earned” better. It’s not about entitlement. It’s about taking your life back. The choice is yours.

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