I was recently in my hometown in Tennessee to pay tribute to the passing of my father (who sadly left us in 2011) and to celebrate the 83rd birthday of my maternal grandmother. While I was there, my grandmother had a book on her coffee table called “The Complete Life’s Little Instruction Book.” If you’ve never heard of it, I highly recommend it. I love books like this. Books that don’t require a great deal of time to sift through but can provide a bit of insight and wisdom to help recalibrate your life. It’s the kind of book where you can read 5-10 passages and tell yourself “Yeah, I should be doing more of that or less of that.” There were a few things that hit home for me regarding my place in this world as a husband. For those who don’t know, my marriage to the gorgeous woman in the picture above is my second marriage. I have a beautiful son from my first.
As far as husbands go, I had really the best role model I could have asked for in my father. His marriage to my mother was essentially the gold standard by which, I believe most marriages should aim to follow. Watching the way my mother still grieves to this day reminds me constantly how special of a presence he was for her.
For all the good I try to do in marriage, I’m well aware of many of my missteps. Certainly, I think there are things a man may try to do for his wife which he feels are in the couple’s best interest but aren’t in line with what she feels might be best. Open lines of communication generally can help with those things.
But what the aforementioned book did for me, was help remind me of little things I could do just to be a little bit better. Maybe nothing groundbreaking but enough to keep me aware of not losing sight. Sometimes, it’s easy to get lost in our own problems and forget to give attention to the people who are in our lives to help lift us up.
So, whether you’re a wife who wants a little bit extra from her husband or a husband trying to find the means to offer a bit more, this post is for you. Ultimately, only the two of you know what areas need some TLC. And for all of our friends in same-sex relationships/marriages, the same conditions apply.
For me, it’s trying to pay attention to some smaller details. My wife deserves it and our marriage improves as a result. Three cheers for a win-win.
More to come.